How do you know if your husband is a psychopath? Where do you find them? Or psychopaths around us

Men come to my appointment exhausted by relationships with hysterical wives and women exhausted by psychopathic husbands. My clients are wonderful people: kind, gentle, caring, sympathetic, responsible, etc. In dealing with them, I involuntarily had a question: “Where do you find them, where do you get them from?”

I set off in search of an answer and found that the number of psychopaths in modern society is growing.

There are 8 obvious reasons:

1. Watching cartoons with scenes of violence and deviant behavior. A child under 7 years old does not have critical thinking skills, he perceives behavior patterns as acceptable in his life and imitates his favorite characters.

2. The interest of teenagers in computer games with violence, cruelty and murder. The law of feelings states that even in a fictional (virtual) situation, a person experiences real bodily feelings. A teenager, playing violent games, regularly training in aggressive behavior, he will be prone to violence and cruelty.

3. Lack of a healthy home climate. Children grow up imitating others, so parents pass on psychopathic behavior patterns to them.

4. Lack of quality relationships in the family. In close, sincere and trusting relationships in a person's life, there are no psychological problems. The basis of the psychological problem is a violation interpersonal communication.

5. A social environment that shapes malignant courage. In a certain society, vulnerability, vulnerability, the need for close and sincere relationships are considered weaknesses. Such character traits as attentiveness, kindness and caring are condemned.

6. Mass fatherlessness. A study led by Gabriella Gobbi at Canada's McGill University argues that being raised without a father leads to increased aggressiveness and abnormal ways of interacting with others.

Fatherlessness is not only the complete absence of a father, when a mother raises a child alone, but also a “dead” father. In fact, dad can even live in the same apartment with children, but at the same time be removed from education, not participate in the lives of his children (alcoholics, drug addicts, workaholics, and dads who are so carried away by sorting out relations with their spouses that they forgot about children) .

On the other hand, a child may not have a physical father, but a grandfather, uncle or older brother takes care of him, giving the baby a masculine upbringing and models of healthy behavior.

7. The inability to create your own results in life leads to an unmet need for strength. Lack of understanding of their needs and ignorance of socially acceptable ways to satisfy them leads to disastrous consequences.

8. Ignorance of the signs of psychopathy leads to the fact that people easily enter into love and marriage relationships with a psychopath. In these relationships, children appear who adopt patterns of abusive behavior. So statistics say that a psychologically healthy man has an average of two children, and a psychopathic man - four children in the general population.

What to do? First, be able to discern psychopathic behavior in “nice” people.

Psychopathic personality traits:

1. Impulsivity.

Impulsivity is considered an instantaneous rash action. But it's not. Psychopathy is not a disease and not a violation of the functions of the cerebral cortex. Psychopathy is a chosen model of behavior that allows you to get what you want no matter what and in spite of everything.

Here, by impulsiveness I mean the absence of fear of the consequences of one's actions and the absence of internal restrictions on immoral and criminal behavior.

2. Aggressiveness.

Violent behavior intended to harm someone or something. If a child tortures animals, mocks insects, hurts those who are weaker or helpless; breaks, damages and sets fire to objects, then urgently take measures to correct behavior.

The psychopath takes pleasure in seeing another person suffer and takes every opportunity to cause pain or harm.

3. Ruthlessness.

Psychopaths lack empathy, they are not able to put themselves in the place of another person and show sympathy.

4. Dishonesty.

Psychopaths always cheat. In the web of their stories, it is easy to get so confused that you no longer understand where the truth is and where the fiction is. Do not try to figure it out, most likely there is no truth at all (no matter how realistic the story looks).

5. Self-centeredness.

It is typical for the thinking of an 8-10 year old child. If the personality does not develop, then the person “gets stuck” at this age, not realizing that the people around him have their own feelings, desires and needs.

6. Failure to care for others.

Every normally developing child at the age of 6-7 has a need to take care of others. He seeks to take care of his mother, father or grandmother, asks to give birth to a brother or sister, buy a dog or cat. Parents do not always recognize this need and support its development.

Cruel or indifferent treatment of a child in the family leads to the fact that this need is not formed or is lost. In modern society, aimed at material success and commodity-money relations, people no longer feel like a person, but more often perceive themselves and others as a means or tool to achieve certain goals.

7. Failure to comply with the created agreements.

The life principle of a psychopath: either in my opinion or not at all.

8. Craving for thrills and risk.

Psychopaths use situations to feel like they're on a razor's edge or on the crest of a wave. Hysteria, scandal, the ability to unbalance a loved one or drive him into a frenzy gives them a sense of omnipotence and superiority over the victim.

9. Disrespect for other people's work, values, personality and human life.

A psychopath easily spoils someone else's property, solves his problems at the expense and to the detriment of others, does not value relationships, health or life of loved ones.

10. As a rule, a psychopath has a bad relationship with relatives, colleagues, no real friends.

Secondly, understand that psychopathy is not a disease!

A psychopath has strong mental health and achieves his goals in any way, up to the physical destruction (murder) of a loved one. To do this, he is capable not only of spontaneous hysterical behavior, blackmail and manipulation, but also of well-thought-out schemes for destroying obstacles to the desired.

Thirdly, psychopathy is a way to satisfy the need for strength. The psychopath, torturing and torturing the victim, feels great pleasure from his superiority. Control over a weak partner gives a sense of significance, up to omnipotence. For the manifestation of psychopathic behavior, the belief in one's own safety and impunity is important.

Conclusion:

1. If you find yourself in a relationship with a psychopath, end the relationship as soon as possible. It is impossible to treat his behavior condescendingly or philosophically, indulgence and resistance to a psychopath can end in disaster.

Your desire to protect yourself by involving third parties (parents, friends, police) will turn into the other side of the coin: the psychopath will build a situational plan in which you will be to blame (incited, provoked an "innocent person" to harm you).

2. If you are still choosing a life partner, be vigilant and do not let money, attractive appearance or wonderful sex close your eyes.

3. If you saw in yourself the features of a psychopathic personality and wish to live in love, harmony, mutual understanding, then you can change your behavior! Psychopathy is not a sentence, it's a lifestyle.

In everyday life, psychopaths are called people with an explosive temperament or simply eccentric. But in the strictest sense, psychopathy is a personality disorder. And statistically, most psychopaths are men.

They can be extremely charming, suave and sociable on the surface, but long-term relationships with them are very toxic to their partners.

How to understand that we are facing a psychopath, and not just a person with a complex character? Of course, only a specialist can make a diagnosis, but here are some alarming signals worth paying attention to.

1. He looks down on you.

A psychopath directly or indirectly emphasizes his superiority over a partner who allegedly falls short of his level: “You are stupid and uneducated”, “You are too emotional”, “You are fat and insecure.”

Next to the psychopathic personality, the partner feels like a "junior in rank", worthless and unworthy, whose task is to please and appease his idol.

2. His declarations of love are quickly replaced by indifference.

He can look after you beautifully, and your honeymoon will be so romantic ... But pretty quickly he cools down and begins to treat you dismissively. Relationships with a psychopath are like a roller coaster: he either loves or hates, quarrels alternate with stormy reconciliations. Disrespect quickly turns into insults.

For his victim, this situation is truly traumatic and fraught with depression, neurosis, drug or alcohol abuse. And in any case - post-traumatic syndrome.

3. He does not know how to admit his own guilt

He is never responsible for what is happening and for his actions - others are always to blame. Even when his guilt is obvious, he deftly distorts and presents what happened as an involuntary mistake or joke. Or assures that he was misunderstood. Or that the partner is simply too sensitive. In a word, he does everything to minimize his responsibility.

4. He uses manipulation to win you over.

For the psychopath, courtship is just a game or a sport: he seduces with manipulative tricks that lack warmth and sincerity. Kindness, attention, care, gifts, travel - for him only a means to get what he wants. He expects that later, when the candy-bouquet period is over, the partner will pay for all this with obedience.

5. One partner isn't enough for him.

The psychopath does not know how to build close, sincere relationships, he quickly becomes fed up and sets off in search of new adventures. This does not mean that he will immediately leave the annoying victim - such people know how to combine several novels at once.

6. He reacts aggressively to any criticism.

Outwardly, he gives the impression of an imperious, narcissistic and soulless person who does not care about the experiences of others. But how sharply and with what aggression he reacts when he is criticized, questioned or neglected!

The reason is not that he is not confident in himself or needs the approval of others. No, the whole point is that he believes in his superiority and power over others. And therefore, he cannot stand it if someone points out his weaknesses or “wrongly” communicates with him.

7. It is important for him to feel like a winner in everything.

In his view, the world is divided into winners and losers. And it is very important for him to be among the first in everything, even in small things. This attitude is incompatible with healthy relationships that involve cooperation, compromise, and the ability to repent.

8. Next to him you lose the ability to reason.

With a sufficiently long relationship, the psychopath's partner begins to experience cognitive impairment: he may have problems with memory, concentration, attention, motivation, and self-organization. He becomes distracted, less effective, and anxiety overwhelms him.

9. He wants to dominate

The psychopath likes to humiliate, control and devalue others - this is how he asserts his power over you. But he cannot stand it if they try to point out his behavior to him, and falls into a rage. Moreover, he tries to take revenge on the "offender".

10. He often hides the truth

This is another manifestation of his manipulative tendencies. He can only be silent about something or lie to his face. Moreover, a lie can concern both minor trifles and very important things - a child on the side, a permanent partner or marital status.

11. He has no morals

The psychopath is dismissive of social norms and moral rules and easily steps over them. Cheating of all kinds, theft, harassment, intimidation, revenge against those who stand in his way - all means are good for him.

12. He is not capable of deep feelings.

With a superficial acquaintance, he can charm and show sympathy, which he is not really capable of. In dealing with a stranger, a psychopath can prove to be much better than he is used to behaving with a partner - especially if he needs to impress strong man or cause envy.

13. He declares himself a victim

This is a typical form of manipulation when psychopaths communicate with an ordinary person who has empathy. They use our capacity for empathy and compassion, portraying themselves as unfortunate victims - and receive forgiveness for any transgressions. This allows them to avoid blame and responsibility and achieve their goals.

14. Kindness and respect are alien to him

They do not have a developed sense of empathy, so the partner is forced each time to explain to him anew how to humanly treat other people and what he expects in relation to himself: “Don't talk to me like that! Please stop lying! Why are you so cruel and rude to me?”

15. You feel like you'll never be good enough.

The psychopath tends to blame, criticize, and thereby belittle his partner: “You dressed like a walker! You didn't clean the house well! You are so dumb! Don't say a word to you! Think how vulnerable! How annoying!” He interprets any requests or demands of a partner as attempts to control him and perceives with hostility.

It is often quite difficult to understand that a person is really a psychopath. Usually this is the name given to people with antisocial or narcissistic disorders, prone to tantrums. This is especially difficult to understand for those women whose husbands are such. From the abnormal behavior of a psychopath, not only he himself suffers, but also everyone who surrounds him. It’s not so scary if such a person is a work colleague. The situation is much more complicated if the woman married a real psychopath. In this case, she will have to experience a lot of grief or learn to adapt to this person, accept him for who he is, constantly anticipate his tantrums and try to get around them. Psychologists advise such women to take off their rose-colored glasses as early as possible and really look at possible prospects so as not to suffer for the rest of their lives.

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What is psychopathy

Psychopathy refers to a characterological pathology that is not characteristic of a mentally healthy person. The behavior of a psychopath does not correspond to generally accepted human norms. Such a person has his own style of behavior and way of thinking. He completely lacks sympathy, disinterestedness, pity and empathy. If a psychopath has a good intellect, then he is able to perfectly imitate high feelings, manipulating his loved ones for his own benefit.

A healthy mind is one of the most important conditions happy existence of both the person himself and the people around him. If it is quite possible to deal with various complexes, character traits and psychological traumas, then special attention should be paid to the symptoms of psychopathy. Such a husband is often not only very unpleasant in communication, but socially dangerous.

Causes of psychopathy

It is impossible to determine the main cause of the appearance of psychopathy in men, since today it is not fully understood. In fact, this pathology is multifactorial, but there is always an initial factor that affects character traits more than others. Its main features or their pathology are laid down in the genes, as well as skin color, eye shape, etc. And despite the fact that every person changes throughout his life, most character traits are laid down at the stage of intrauterine existence.

The main causes of psychopathy are congenital and each person is born with his own character or his pathology. A significant role here is given to certain negative situations that contribute to the antisocial behavior of the individual:

• the child was brought up in an orphanage or an adult committed a crime and ended up in prison;
• bad ecology;
• heredity: if one of the parents suffers from psychopathy, there is a high risk that children will also suffer from it;
• infectious diseases (meningitis, encephalitis), brain tumor, mechanical head trauma;
• poisoning by alcohol, poison or drugs, radiation.

All this contributes to the appearance of pathological and absolutely irreversible changes in the cerebral cortex and the entire nervous system.

Psychopathy arises from the excessive development of specific traits of a person’s character and the underdevelopment of others, no less important. A man can have highly developed egocentrism, aggression and absolutely no control over his behavior and empathy. This pathology begins to develop in early age and accompanies the individual until the end of life. In most cases, a person is not able to cope with this condition on his own and he needs the help of a specialist.

According to statistics, psychopathy is more common in men than in women. At the same time, such a person can be quite successful and occupy a high position. But this is rare, and most psychopaths are antisocial. For the emergence of psychopathy, education and the environment are important.



signs

There are certain signs of behavior that can be used to recognize a psychopath. Rejection general rules behavior for such people is the standard. They completely lack the ability to make friends and establish communication. Psychopaths are distinguished by the following character traits:

1. 1. Intemperance, inability to adapt in society, a tendency to quarrel with relatives and colleagues, based only on one's own suggestion, a tendency to exaggerate and embellish situations.
2. 2. Complete indifference to the feelings of even the closest people, frequent manifestations of aggression and violence for their own benefit and disregard for generally accepted moral standards.
3. 3. Lack of guilt and analysis of committed misconduct.
4. 4. Selfish - for a psychopath, it is important to always be in the spotlight. He has a strong desire to be a leader.
5. 5. Cowardice and betrayal. If a psychopath has not completed any important business, he will quickly get off with a scandal.
6. 6. Inability to establish social relations and the absence of long-term friendships, as well as long-term love relationships.
7. 7. Insomnia.
8. 8. Resentment.
9. 9. Constant change of activity and stereotypes of thinking, a lot of unfinished business.
10. 10. Craving for lies and accusing the interlocutor of lying even with minor conflicts.
11. 11. Sharp outbursts of rage, jealousy for no reason.
12. 12. Propensity to sexual perversions.
13. 13. Constant change of masks of character and a clear play on the feelings of loved ones.
14. 14. Non-standard thinking and lack of understanding of danger, love for extreme sports.

Psychopaths often have good looks, charm, and great intellectual ability.

Psychologists do not have an exact answer to the question: is psychopathy a pathology or is it just a character trait. Most likely, this is the border between a healthy and a diseased state of the psyche. Psychopaths are not distinguished by a weak mind and are quickly realized professionally. They have thought out to the smallest detail the tactics of behavior in society, so it is very difficult to recognize a male psychopath with a short communication. A woman who marries such a man sees his real face too late. This is a domestic tyrant, and violence against his family is a norm for him that cannot be eradicated.



How to behave a woman with a psychopath husband

Playing on the feelings of his wife is the norm for a psychopath. It is not easy to break off relations with such a person: he always beautifully asks for forgiveness, looking straight into his eyes, like a good actor, or begins to threaten. A closer look at a frightened wife is a real pleasure for him. It is important to remember that in tense moments you can’t cry and make excuses, and even more so, insult your psychopath husband. A woman needs to understand how to behave with such a husband, depending on what type of psychopath he belongs to:

1. 1. A paranoid husband is characterized by a tendency to conflict, selfishness and activity in defending his own interests. If he is interested in something, it is important for everyone, and if someone is not interested, this person becomes his number one enemy. Living with such a husband is extremely difficult. He should be regularly praised and put all your interests on the altar of his priceless ideas. Around him there will always be many people with whom he forbids his wife to communicate (mother-in-law, relatives). The paranoid demands to raise children in his own way: he makes them wake up early, take them to a music school or sports section, and forbids communicating with peers. It is important to remember that such a man is very jealous, he sees in every man a potential lover of his wife. Most women can not stand such a life and decide to part with the paranoid. But this does not save them from problems: from that moment on, the woman becomes an enemy for him and he begins to take revenge on her (does not allow her to see the child, deprives her of money or housing).
2. 2. A sociopathic husband has antisocial personality disorder. He is distinguished by immoral behavior and unwillingness to at least limit himself in some way. Character traits the nature of a sociopath: restlessness, stubbornness, deceit and impulsiveness. Such a man is constantly looking for conflicts, thrills, gets into various adventures and is prone to violence. Most sociopaths use drugs, gamble, and abuse alcohol, resulting in them being imprisoned. Girls are known to love “bad boys,” so male sociopaths are rarely single. Just do not have high hopes that such a husband will change and turn into a wonderful family man. And if a woman does not want to constantly worry or wait for him out of prison, she should break off such relationships and find herself a decent man.
3. 3. The hysterical husband is trying with all his might to attract attention. He is always beautifully dressed and constantly looks after himself. During his school years, he actively participates in public life: he plays in performances, in KVN, sings and dances. Such a man is distinguished by theatricality in behavior and the desire to please all women. The hysteroid's wife must be ready to constantly admire her husband and come to terms with the fact that he will seek the admiration of other people. It is impossible to agree with him in solving any serious problems, as he will blackmail and begin to demonstrate his suicide attempts.
4. 4. A schizoid husband is difficult to communicate. He absolutely does not care about other people's opinions, he is emotionally cold and often does not even understand what you can talk about with women. A schizoid man is not friends with anyone, at most he has only one friend. Some women agree to marry such men. Due to the inability to establish contact with the opposite sex, a schizoid husband will not cheat on his wife. Also, he is not interested in meeting friends, going to the sauna, sports clubs and fishing. His lifelong hobbies are reading or collecting. It would seem that everything is not so bad, but the wife should not rely on the support of the schizoid in matters of household, empathy, and even joint leisure. Such a man lives in his own world and does not want to understand the feelings of other people. Any communication simply weighs him down. A woman must understand that she will have to exist with a schizoid husband in different worlds.
5. 5. Asthenic husband suffers from dependent personality disorder. He is distinguished by indecision and self-sacrifice. Excessive diligence is accompanied by low performance. Asthenik is trying with all his might to avoid physical and psychological stress. Such a man is highly dependent on women who have to make all decisions on their own. An asthenic husband does not need a soulmate, but a mother who will do everything for him. He is able to give his wife love and understanding, will idealize her and unquestioningly obey. Asthenics do not cheat on their wives. If a woman needs a henpecked husband, then a man with a dependent personality disorder is ideal. Just do not hope that he will ever become the head of the family.

A psychopathic husband makes everyone around him suffer - his wife, children and relatives. Making the decision to get rid of this unhealthy relationship should be final. Otherwise, the woman will get even more with new scandals: the psychopath will try to take revenge, attack with even greater anger, inflict psychological trauma on his wife and children, thereby increasing his self-esteem.

Breaking up with a psychopathic husband is the most reasonable decision, no matter how cruel it may seem. This should be taken as the minimum loss. After all, a psychopath only achieves his goal when he emotionally destroys his victim. Therefore, you need to learn how to properly behave with him:

1. 1. With any psychological attacks from the husband, start keeping a distance from him: pretend to be very busy.
2. 2. When ending a relationship, you should be especially careful, as a sudden breakup can provoke a fit of rage in a psychopath, which often ends in violence. The ideal way out is to call your husband or write him an e-mail.
3. 3. You need to tell your family and friends about it so that they are aware of the problem. It's good if they're around all the time. You need to create a support group for yourself.
4. 4. You should not blame yourself, because this is not just leaving a person, but also saving yourself and your loved ones from danger. Psychopaths have a strong charm and always know what they want: by all deceptive means to subjugate their wife completely and without a trace.
5. 5. You need to trust your intuition and listen to your fear, because this is a defensive reaction that can save a person from any threat. Pay attention to whether these relationships cause a feeling of constant risk. It is important to remember that any healthy relationship never causes feelings of fear and there is no need to argue with your own mind.
6. 6. Try to be skeptical about the behavior of a psychopath husband: his lies and manipulations of loved ones. Don't believe anything you hear or see. It would not be superfluous to check the source of the information received from him in order to analyze its reliability. This can be done with the help of friends or the Internet. Psychopaths lie constantly without the slightest shame.

One must always be on the alert, as the psychopathic husband has a constant need to control others. In family life, he wants to be in charge and for this he uses both his charm and intimidation and even violence. In the race for power, the psychopath focuses on winning, no matter the cost. You should be prepared to fight for your rights and risk serious psychological and physical injury. In such a situation, you should not make contact with him, but come up with another method to let him know that no one wants to play by his rules. It is necessary to make it clear to the husband that his behavior entails certain consequences.

Treatment

To establish the diagnosis of psychopathy, electroencephalography is used - a study of the activity of the brain - and tests are carried out. The disease requires treatment only in the case when the pathological features are strongly manifested, which entails a threat to the life of not only the patient's relatives, but also for himself.

To date, the treatment of psychopathy includes:

• auto-training and hypnosis;
• the use of psychotropic drugs;
• taking antidepressants (Prozac) and tranquilizers;
• neuroleptics (Aminazin) for the treatment of hysterical psychopathy;
• haloperidol to suppress aggression and anger;
• for insomnia, antipsychotics with a sedative effect (chlorprothixene) are prescribed;
• antisocial psychopaths are prescribed Sonapax and Neuleptil;
• asthenicam - stimulants or natural remedies.

In any form of pathology, immunomodulators, antioxidants and multivitamins are additionally prescribed. It should be remembered that when using psychotropic drugs, patients are strictly prohibited from drinking alcohol and drugs in order to avoid death. Treatment should be selected only by a specialist, taking into account the form of the pathology and the individual characteristics of each patient.

You need to stock up on great patience in order to be able to protect yourself and your loved ones, because life with such a person requires a constant search for compromises. Fighting a psychopath and his beliefs will not do you any good. It is important to avoid such situations by all means, and if this is not possible, simply ignore it.

And some secrets...

I looked at my husband in fascination, and he did not take his admiring eyes off his mistress. He acted like a lovesick jerk...

Such men can be not only extremely unpleasant in communication, but also socially dangerous.

What is psychopathy and why does it occur

Psychopathy is a characterological pathology that is not characteristic of healthy mentally people. The behavior of a person suffering from psychopathy differs from universal norms and rules. His way of thinking, style of behavior is different, he does not consider it necessary to follow any rules or moral norms, obeying only the “law of power”. People suffering from psychopathy lack empathy, empathy, gratitude, selflessness, and other higher emotions. But, if such a person has a sufficiently high intelligence, he successfully portrays these feelings, manipulating others for his own benefit.

Today, psychopathy is considered an extreme version of the norm - it is no longer a "bad" character, but also not a psychopathology that requires treatment by a psychiatrist. This pathology arises from the excessive development of certain personality traits and the underdevelopment of other character traits. Thus, a male psychopath may have overdeveloped aggressiveness and egocentrism and almost undeveloped empathy and behavior control. Psychopathy usually develops in childhood and adolescence and accompanies a person throughout life. As a rule, a person cannot cope with the pathology of character on his own; he needs the help of a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Psychopathy in men is several times more common than in women. Such men can be quite successful, hold leadership positions, do business, and so on. But most of the patients with psychopathy lead an asocial lifestyle, so, among the male prisoners, every 3 suffers from psychopathy.

The exact causes of the development of psychopathy in men are still not known. A predisposition to psychopathy can be inherited; it has also been proven that its development occurs under the influence of several factors at once, one of which is the main or “starter” that provokes its development. For the development of psychopathy great importance has an environment and upbringing, even if the child has pronounced features of psychopathy, correcting his development can prevent the development of certain “unnecessary” features and develop others as much as possible.

To provoke the development of psychopathy can:

• Birth injury
• Fetal hypoxia, infections and diseases transferred during fetal development
• Unfavorable environmental conditions - exposure, exposure to radioactive and toxic substances during pregnancy
• Infectious and somatic diseases suffered at an early age.

Any adverse factor that caused brain damage at an early age can cause the development of psychopathy.

In addition to organic factors, the development of psychopathology can be caused by:

• Child abuse
• Isolation, "separation" from the family and placement in a children's institution
• Lack of attention from parents
• Overprotection, upbringing in the style of the "family idol"

The presence of one or more predisposing factors does not necessarily mean the development of psychopathy, according to modern research - psychopathy develops as a result of some kind of "breakdown" in the brain and all of these factors can only aggravate or provoke its development, but not be the main cause of psychopathy.

Symptoms and types of psychopathy

Determining that a man is a psychopath during superficial communication or at the beginning of a relationship is quite difficult. They can hide their features, imitate feelings and respond to the expectations of others - if they need it for some reason.

Psychopathy can be suspected if the following symptoms are present:

• Deceit is a hallmark of psychopathy. Such people lie all the time: in order to achieve their goals faster and easier, to attract attention to themselves, or simply, “out of interest”. When trying to catch a person in a lie, he can deny everything, be indignant, accuse others of lying, and if it is impossible to deny the obvious, confess and immediately begin to lie again.
• Lack of Empathy - Psychopaths lack the ability to fully or partially empathize with someone. They can understand other people's feelings, but they don't empathize with them.
• Manipulation is another hallmark of a psychopath. Such people tend to manipulate everyone around them: loved ones, relatives, friends and employees. For this, any methods are used: lies, trickery, blackmail, screaming, up to assault and suicide threats.
• Aggression, cruelty - lack of sympathy and selfishness, as well as the unwillingness to restrain one's reactions, cause increased aggressiveness and cruelty towards the weaker ones. Men suffering from psychopathy, as a rule, are domestic tyrants, harshly suppressing any attempts of "disobedience" and without hesitation raising a hand against their wife and children.
• Lack of deep feelings - all reactions and feelings of such people are superficial. Deep love, affection, sympathy are not characteristic of them.
• Lack of remorse, admission of guilt - men with this way of thinking do not feel remorse and do not admit their guilt. Instead, they attack the interlocutor, accusing him of bias, lies, or any other vices.
• The tendency to cheat, leading an asocial lifestyle, taking alcohol, drugs - the desire to quickly get what you want without much effort becomes the reason for having a promiscuous sex life or committing a crime.

There are several main types of psychopathy:

• Asthenic and psychasthenic psychopathy is the safest form for others. Such people are distinguished by indecisiveness, suspiciousness, a tendency to introspection and "introspection". Increased sensitivity and excitability causes conflicts with others. Such people may seem very vulnerable and sensitive, but, in fact, they experience such feelings only in relation to themselves. They are indifferent to others and can be very cold and cruel.
• Schizoid is a borderline disorder. Severe psychopathy of this type often causes the development of psychiatric disorders. Schizoid psychopaths are reserved, they live in their own world and rarely let anyone in. Their main feature is isolation from others, isolation and insensitivity to someone else's needs other than their own.
• Paranoid - characterized by increased aggressiveness, assertiveness, narrow outlook. They constantly find out something, argue, monitor others and actively manipulate them.
• Excitable - in men of this type there is practically no self-control. They are aggressive, irritable, sort things out with everyone around them. Such people most often commit illegal acts and wander.
• Hysterical - such a disorder manifests itself at an early age, children, and then adult men strive to attract everyone's attention to themselves, they cannot stand it when someone else becomes the center of society.
• Affective - characterized by easily changing mood or its pathological change. A person can be constantly gloomy or, conversely, foolish, overly cheerful and active.
• Mixed - combines several types.

What to do if a man is a psychopath?

As a rule, male psychopaths do not need treatment and are not going to seek psychological help. They are satisfied with everything: both in themselves and in those around them. But their wives, children and other people who are forced to communicate with them daily or live together are trying to get psychological help or at least support. The wives of psychopaths suffer the most from this disorder, who often find themselves in the role of a victim and do not understand what to do.

Unfortunately, so far effective treatment psychopathy does not exist. In extreme forms of pathology, sedatives and antipsychotics are offered to patients, but most men with psychopathy refuse to visit a psychiatrist and treatment.

With less pronounced forms of psychopathy, treatment by a psychologist and psychotherapist can help, but here the patient's desire to change is also necessary.

Every woman who suspects her boyfriend or husband of having psychopathy should definitely visit a psychologist. This will help not only to understand whether a loved one has a similar mental disorder, but will also give the woman herself the opportunity to sort out these relationships.

Male psychopath: by what signs to calculate him?

Having met a psychopathic man, you may not even be aware of his psychopathological syndrome. At first glance, this person may seem adequate and healthy, but from time to time his mood can change dramatically and surprise you. Building relationships and a shared future with a male psychopath is incredibly difficult. Not every woman is able to withstand such a test.

Psychopathy is a serious disorder, so if you start dating a person who has symptoms of this pathology, it is worth visiting a doctor who studies such disorders with him.

What is psychopathy?

To understand how to recognize a male psychopath, we first need to define this rare disorder.

Psychopathy is a special pathological condition associated with a congenital inferiority of the individual, the inability to adapt to the world around him and interact normally with other people.

The main problem of this disorder lies in the deficit of the emotional-volitional sphere and thinking, the immaturity of the psyche. Experts see the cause of psychopathy in disorders of nervous activity, which can be genetically determined or develop under the influence of adverse factors during fetal life.

According to statistics, psychopathy is a rare psychopathological condition (approximately 9% of the world's population), which is most common in men. Scientists still do not know the reason why the representatives of the stronger half are more often born with such disorders. Nevertheless, experts have long identified the signs of a male psychopath, which can sometimes be calculated independently during prolonged communication with him.

Is it possible to recognize a psychopath in your man?

The disorder may not manifest itself in any way at the first meeting and even during subsequent meetings and dates with a male psychopath. He may appear to be a level-headed, reasonable and sane person with whom every woman would gladly build a relationship. Most often, the signs of a psychopath appear periodically, and a reason for their manifestation is far from always needed. Often, a male psychopath acts impulsively and inappropriately without any reason and under a variety of circumstances.

tendency to exaggerate

From the very first meeting, he pays a lot of attention to a woman, gives a lot of gifts and does not skimp on compliments. It may seem that he is trying to catch every glance of his beloved. IN in social networks he will send you poems and pictures, fill up the wall with declarations of love and openly demonstrate his affection and uncontrollable feelings for you.

Everything that the male psychopath says is presented in an exaggerated and often implausible form. The interlocutor may get the impression that he is an idle talker and likes to throw big words to the wind.

The emotions and frank confessions of a male psychopath raise suspicion of their insincerity. After each date with him, there may be a feeling of uncertainty about the seriousness of his words.

The desire to evoke an emotional response

You have only recently met him, but he is already trying to pity you with heartbreaking stories from his personal life, stories about how unhappy and suffering he is. This is one of the well-known tricks of the typical male psychopath: he aims to take “emotional power” over you so that you feel sympathy for him and empathize with all his problems. He wants you to feel sorry for him like a child.

Another variant of behavior is expressed aggression. A psychopathic man does not always show this in relationships with a woman, but in most cases he releases his unreasonable anger in order to see the emotional reaction of the people around him.

Inappropriate response to normal events

Sometimes he can behave strangely in typical life situations: push a stranger on public transport, raise your voice in a quiet place, or leave abruptly without saying goodbye to your interlocutor. At first, this behavior can surprise and amuse. It will seem to you that you have met an interesting person, but soon you will be able to see that such inappropriate behavior is quite normal for him, but not for modern society.

Tendency to provoke negative emotions

Men-psychopaths quite often like to provoke jealousy in their partner. At the same time, they can openly admit their feelings for other women, create the impression that he has a mistress, that his ex-girlfriend is constantly looking for a reason to meet him. He can provoke not only jealousy, but also other negative feelings and emotions, put pressure on your conscience, even if he has no reason to do so.

Tendency to lie

Even if you uncovered his deception, he will never admit that he lied. No amount of evidence of his lies will help you convince him that he did wrong by deceiving you. Male psychopaths build almost their entire lives on lies and do not hesitate to openly lie in the face of their interlocutor. This is primarily due to the fact that they do not feel remorse. With psychopathy, it seems to turn off, not allowing you to experience natural feelings of remorse and awareness of your own mistake.

Unwillingness to accept criticism

Recognizing a male psychopath is not as difficult as it seems. One of his main features is the inability to perceive criticism addressed to him. Even the slightest remarks cause a storm of negative emotions in him. Rejection of criticism can manifest as anger, resentment, and mood swings. But most often he tries to transfer the blame to another person.

You accused him of infantility, then he will claim that he feels like a child next to you because of your behavior. You try to explain to him that he offends you with his words, then he will say that in fact it is you who offend him.

Psychopathy requires the help and supervision of a specialist. Do not try to solve this problem on your own: the expert will do everything possible to help you and your lover to improve the relationship and help the man master his own emotions.

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How to understand that your man is a psychopath? 5 danger signs

Psychopathy is one of the synonyms for antisocial personality disorder. At first glance, a psychopath is not recognizable, and many women realize too late that their man's behavior is different from the norm.

Starting a relationship with a psychopath rarely causes anxiety: a man is actively interested in you, tends to be around often, looks romantic, original and interesting. Emotions capture a woman, and she finds herself in emotional captivity, turning a blind eye to the dangerous signs of psychopathy.

1. Overconfidence

Psychopaths are absolutely sure that they are right. Their opinion is “the only correct one”, so they react sharply and aggressively to any comments. If a mistake has happened, the man will blame you, random passers-by, the state or fate for this. For himself, he will always find a "worthy" excuse.

2. Pathological lie

Lies always start small. At first, you notice that a man is lying about trifles, and do not attach any importance to this: just think, he started talking, who doesn’t happen to? Then the untruth becomes serious: he does not keep his promises, finds excuses for everything, and reacts to your attempts to find out the truth with feigned surprise, anger or resentment. As a rule, psychopaths are smart enough to manipulate your emotions. They can deliberately lie so that the lie is noticed, enjoying the helplessness of the victim and their own impunity.

3. Playing in public

Psychopaths love to play in public. Even if a man behaves rudely and aggressively alone with you, in the company of acquaintances he will portray well-being and goodwill. Very often, even the closest friends and relatives do not believe the victims of psychopaths, believing that the woman is slandering, or “she is to blame.” Alas, behind the shirt-guy mask there may be a tough man who enjoys emotional sadism.

4. Jealousy

Jealousy is not a sign of love, but a tool psychological abuse. The psychopath believes in his fantasies, his world is full of hidden threats, and your arguments are worth nothing to him. If at the beginning of a relationship, jealousy may seem like a spicy seasoning, then over time it will turn into poison. A psychopathic man will accuse you of cheating, believably telling friends, family and children about how terrible you are behaving. Often this leads to social isolation of a woman, as the closest people stop believing in her.

5. Outbursts of aggression

The most important symptom of excitable psychopathy and sociopathy is the inability to control anger and aggression. Any little thing can piss off a psychopath: a dirty plate, a dinner that takes too long to prepare, or your good mood. A man starts with criticism, gradually inflames himself, falls into a rage and can use physical force.

Every year, about 200,000 women go to the police with complaints of beatings and threats from their husbands. But this number does not reflect the real scale of the problem, as half of the victims are afraid or embarrassed to report domestic violence. Also, women are prone to self-deception, thinking that keeping the family is more important, or that the husband will calm down over time. Alas, the psychopath is not capable of sympathy, remorse and pity. He can skillfully fake these emotions in order to get your forgiveness.

According to forensic psychologists, excitable psychopaths and active sociopaths are prone to deviant behavior, fraud, murder, alcoholism and drug addiction, robbery, and gambling. Therefore, if at home you are subjected to psychological or physical violence, you should not endure it, risking your health and life: run as far as possible.

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How to recognize a psychopath

The psychopathic personality type is found in both men and women. Although, in fairness, among women - much less often.

This article will focus on male psychopaths and women - their victims.

The most important sign and it is also the most characteristic of a psychopath is his desire for power. Power is something for which he is ready for anything, it is for her that he strives with all the fibers of his soul.

In personal relationships, this can manifest itself in a persistent desire to take control of everything, to close all processes on oneself, thereby making the partner dependent. And as soon as this happens, the psychopath begins to show his "true face".

But everything is in order.

In the early stages of dating, it is almost impossible to discern a real psychopath: a sea of ​​\u200b\u200bcharm, high intelligence, excellent education and interests in various fields; he is able to predict your desires and needs to the smallest detail - literally - you yourself do not yet know what you need, but he has already organized everything; he will tempt your feelings, sing serenades under the windows and throw a million red roses at your feet - all this, unfortunately, distinguishes psychopaths from other men.

He is a manipulative genius, the most romantic and inventive suitor imaginable.

As a rule, smart, successful, educated, beautiful, bright and strong women become its victims. Gray mice do not interest him. You will be surprised, perhaps: “How can a smart, strong woman get into such a relationship and allow herself to be destroyed?” You underestimate the psychopath. I repeat: they are incomparable suitors.

What happens then, when the psychopath gets his way and the woman, surrendering under his virtuoso pressure, begins to trust him with her feelings, finances and her whole life?

Then he starts destroying her.

That is why successful and strong women are in his area of ​​​​interest - he needs the power that he destroys from you - he will appropriate it for himself, and will become an order of magnitude stronger in his own eyes, and often in the eyes of his environment: he conquered such a woman!

He will take away your power so that you do not take away his power and leave him. To belong to him undivided.

It will gradually destroy your personality, so much so that you will not immediately notice it, and even more so, you will not immediately understand that something is wrong in your relationship.

Psychopaths are manipulative geniuses and masters of double binds. It is they who will admire your culinary talents, and immediately make comments about the cooked dinner.

It is they who will say that you are a wonderful mother and note the bad manners and bad qualities of your children. And you will get lost in these contradictions, get confused, doubt yourself and your adequacy - thereby becoming weaker.

Thus, he can poison for a long time. And the stronger the woman, the longer she can last in a relationship, and the more damage will be done to her psyche.

When you want to run away, he will not let you go, because you are his property, you belong only to him and no one else. Even to herself. It will destroy competitors, even if the "competitor" is your child. But at the same time, he himself can have other relationships and skillfully manipulate his wife and mistress, keeping both for himself.

Psychopaths lack (split off) shame and fear, so they immediately turn to anger, bypassing the stage of moral experiences. They have no remorse - he does not feel them.

The affect in psychopaths comes when he feels that he is losing his power - when he is no longer obeyed. Because "power" for a psychopath is the most important compensatory mechanism.

If you understand that you are in a relationship with a psychopath, then the only sure way to save yourself and your personality is to run! It is very harmful to think that he will change, improve, understand, and everything will somehow work out.

No, it won't get better. Psychopaths lack empathy and remorse; they also have a very specific idea of ​​morality. He is simply incapable of being on an equal footing with anyone. It's like hoping that the missing part of the body will grow - the analogy is approximately the same.

But, unfortunately, it is not so easy to get away from a psychopath.

He will hold you in every possible way, resist, and it will be very difficult to endure, and often dangerous.

In order to end a relationship with a psychopath, you must:

Strengthen yourself internally, restore contact with your own strength, remember your resources.

It is faster and more efficient to do this with a psychologist, but the difficulty is that psychopaths feel very well when you become stronger, and will try to deprive you of contacts with the outside world: not to let you go where you can get support.

Call on external forces for help: relatives, especially men of your kind, the police, the prosecutor's office. That is, to find strength, strength even more powerful.

Turn into a "gray mouse", devaluing yourself and becoming completely uninteresting and inconspicuous. In this case, there is a chance that then he will leave you himself.

In the end, I will repeat once again what should alert a new acquaintance, especially if all these signs are present:

Very nice care

Has high intelligence

Predicts wishes very accurately

tempts your senses

Strives for power (this point is the most important)

And never try to outplay a psychopath - you will not succeed - for this you need to have similar violations in the personality structure.

Run without looking back!

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never try to outplay a psychopath - you will not succeed - for this you need to have similar violations in the personality structure.

I thought about this in the middle of the article. In today's world, either fortunately or unfortunately, people are divided into psychopaths and neurotics, they have adapted :). so that alliances with psychopaths noticeably grow stronger.

Do you describe a psychopath in everyday, folk, so to speak, concept?

The most important sign and it is also the most characteristic of a psychopath is his desire for power.

a sea of ​​charm, high intelligence, excellent education and interests in various fields;

Psychopaths are manipulative geniuses and masters of double binds.

But maybe I'm wrong? I would be grateful if you share links to interesting new authors describing this topic.

How to recognize a male psychopath

Psychopathy in men is quite common in our time. And these are not always traditional maniacs, murderers and rapists. Symptoms of psychopathy can also manifest themselves in ordinary family life, and then you really will not envy the wife of a psychopath.

How to recognize a psychopath? Psychopaths are characterized by eloquence, artistry, a penchant for adventurism. They have at least one higher education, smart and prudent. At first, you are surprised how many creative plans, business projects, necessary acquaintances your partner has. In fact, more often than not, it's just the ability to splurge. His energy is in full swing, it can be difficult for him to calm down after a responsible event, and psychopaths sleep very badly at night. They are characterized by emotional actions, unpredictability is their main strong point.

Psychopaths choose their victims according to certain criteria. Most often, this is a woman who did not arrange her personal life on time, a divorced lady with a child who dreams of marrying strong man, infantile, insecure girls or women who are prone to idealizing a partner.

At the very beginning of a relationship, it seems to you that you are in a fairy tale. A psychopath man sincerely does everything to please you. The first days, weeks or months is the man of your dreams. Flowers, gifts, care make you wonder that the former wives and mistresses, and usually there are many of them, broke up with him. Further psychopathy takes its toll. A psychologically unbalanced man begins to look for something to blame you for. This may be your past, if you want to get married after 30, then you probably have it. One of the main reasons for his psychopathy to come out may be your appearance. A psychopath will find something to complain about, even if you are very beautiful. Red nails turn him on and do you hate this color of nail polish? Here is a reason for resentment and hysteria. He also wants to have beautiful woman that excites him. After all, he does everything for you, he is literally ready to give his life. You do not want to wear a long or, conversely, a short skirt? You are a fallen woman or a woman who does not want to attract love and please her man.

Psychopaths are prone to various sexual perversions. It can be non-standard types sex or sex in in large numbers. Many psychopaths find an outlet for their irrepressible energy in sexual contacts. 5-10 times a day or very rough sex is not the limit for a psycho. Do you not want it or do you feel pain? Yes, you are sick! After all, all the women before you liked it that way. And if you say that none of your former men didn’t do this, then you will run into a serious attack of aggression with the accusation that you are a whore and he is not interested in your past contacts or that your men were impotent.

And you are thinking. Where is the moment when you did something wrong, why did the dream man turn into a hysterical monster so quickly? Do you feel guilty? It’s not worth it, a psycho man cannot be corrected, the symptoms of psychopathy would still appear over time. It will be useful for you to chat with one of his exes. Believe me, you will learn a lot of interesting things. Psychopaths usually don't talk much about past "victims" and rarely talk badly about them. More often you will hear that he finally found his own in your face.

If you don't leave now, it will be much harder to leave later. Realizing that he is losing you, the psychopath goes to any tricks. He eloquently tells you how he loves you, how he is guilty before you that he did not appreciate, did not love enough, repents of everything, promises that this will not happen again. Some men even threaten to commit suicide, believe me, this will not happen, the psychopath loves himself too much. If you return to it now, after a certain period everything will repeat itself, and even more disappointment awaits you. Well, if psychopathy manifests itself only in screams and tantrums, many psychopaths are characterized by a state close to affect. At this moment, he can do anything with you, and then immediately regret and repent.

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While walking home with my daughter, I scrolled through the scenario in my head: “Now we will rise, open the door, this rabid beast will jump out and start torturing me physically and mentally in front of my poor child.” And so it would have been (as many times before), BUT it happened differently! I forced myself to calm down and forbade myself to be afraid of this creature once and for all! Clutching the weighty keys as tightly as possible in my hand, I decided to act. She opened the door, and this beast was already standing and waiting for us in the hallway! And as soon as this scum opened its stinking mouth, I gave him the following in a firm, angry and resolute voice: “If you are a freak, raise your hand to me again and give out at least one word addressed to me, I swear by my mother that this key will be stick out of your eye. And if you still decide to give me at least one bruise, I will call the police and write a statement against you! From now on, your power over us is over. “Of course, I had to go down to his level, but after that he began to fear and respect me. By the way, I still rolled over to him, as I promised 🙂 True, then I quietly took him away, but he still thinks that he has an application and if there is at least one more bruise on my body, then he will be attracted, and he very afraid of it.

It is people with a pathological character that are described in these sad and terrible comments.

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Hello, I really ask for your advice, I need to know the answers to some questions. We live with my husband for 20 years, now he is 48 years old, we have two children (a daughter and a son of 15 years old), only now I found out, thanks to another hobby of my husband, that he is a classic example of a socially adapted psychopath, a match in the test and description on your site is 99.9%, and I myself am without a test, after reading the materials of the site I can say this with confidence, it is completely the same as described on the site, in all respects (work, family, relationships with people and loved ones). I understood that such behavior cannot be corrected, for the reason that I did not know that such a personality defect existed, I tried to conduct a normal relationship with him. family life but only lost her health. Now the question is whether to continue to maintain the appearance of a family or live separately from him, he himself says that it’s easier and freer for him alone, but there are children who are not ready to lose their family and want to know that their father is with them in the family, then that he is so peculiar they are used to, others do not know him, though they see that in other families relations are different. Tell me what form of relationship you can maintain with people of this type - to live with him and not pay attention to all his troubles, just so that he provides for the family and the children know that they have a father (I am silent about myself) now I perceive him as a cripple from birth, there is no emotional strength to create other relationships, or vice versa, to run away from him, maybe the life of children with such a person will cause them irreparable damage to their psyche?

TheSolution psychologist's answer:

The decision to divorce is a very serious matter.

In your case, it is advisable to persuade your husband to consult a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist can assess your spouse's condition and make a diagnosis. If you read the article, you will see that the fourth level includes such comorbid types of personality disorders as narcissism. At the same time, there are also psychopathic syndromes, that is, similar to psychopathy, which are a mask for diseases such as Only a specialist can understand the nuances of your spouse's psychopathology, prescribe treatment and tell you the prognosis of the disease.

The psychiatrist does not provide advice on the advisability of maintaining family relationships

If the diagnosis of psychopathy (personality disorder) is confirmed, then the hope of healing your spouse and your personal happiness with him will melt like smoke. The continuation of the relationship will mean a further loss of your health, yet this type of psychiatric psychopathology has its own characteristics. Moral ugliness in the form of shameless deceit, and poor control over aggression every time unsettles. Pathological relationships will be perceived by your children as something natural. By staying with a psychopath, you will pass on to the children just such a model of the family. It is highly likely that they will reproduce this particular scheme in their own personal lives. Consultations on the advisability of preserving the marriage are provided by a psychologist or a psychotherapist. It is not within the competence of a psychiatrist to advise on the decision to divorce. However, you can ask the doctor about the prognosis of the development of the disease, its curability and incurability. The decision to stay married or divorce is yours to make. You will also be responsible for your own decision.

Breaking up with a psychopath is a soap opera-worthy plot

Getting away from a psychopath is not easy. Honest and decent does not exist. Forget the idea that you can easily solve the child support issue. Psychopaths are consistent in only one thing - and committing. Therefore, think in advance where you have unprotected rear areas and take care of yours in advance. The division of property, a scandalous divorce, hassle and causing emotional pain to children - this will all happen without fail if you do not protect yourself in advance. It is advisable to prepare for a divorce from a psychopath several years before the expected date. You will need documents proving your solvency and ability to support children. You will also need evidence of infidelity, because psychopaths usually deny everything, not wanting to divorce a "wife of convenience." They also do everything to leave a woman with children in poverty or take children away from a woman. Get ready for the worst scenario, with violence, threats and destruction of your documents - and you will not be mistaken in the forecasts.